It is deceptive. 7 am Sunday. The sky shiny stiff shirt blue. Yellow olive tree skeletons bending in the chill. Fat wood pigeons breakfasting on shoots. Cooing bloody cooing. Daffodils shoved in a green glass vase in front of the window, green stems bleeding into wrapped up yellow heads. Stubborn buds won't open their precious tight little petals. Mean little bunch. Norwich City defeated four two should be named the daffodils. They get trampled on. Give me a narcissus any day of the week. Spurn sex and die. Pigeons are getting plenty. I have never seen such gigantic wood pigeons. What they frightened of? Flapping fatsos. Obese. I must stop eating red meat. I must stop eating yoghurt. I must stop gorging on sardines. I must stop drinking pints of Guinness. I have to eat leaves. I have to eat up my greens. Lovely colour green, England's green and pleasant land. God's colour. Marks and Spencer Waitrose Jolly green giant. Green green grass of home. Run out of petrol. Grass is bloody growing again. One man went to mow.
Dog, Dexter can't stop scratching. Lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick. Bite bite bite bite gnaw gnaw gnaw gnaw nibble nibble nibble, lick lick lick, slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp. Lick lick snort lick snort. Smack smack smack lip smack lip smack smack smack. Take a breath. Chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew lick lick gnaw bite gnaw snuffle snuffle bite chew, shut up. Shut up.
Old fashioned drawing, 2008. A former chef and a jockey.Glued with lots of stamps.
I wish our grass was growing.... I wish I could see our grass.
ReplyDelete... and are you sure you're not taking about my dog? That was funny!
No Gwen, I'm talking about Dexter but obviously I am talking about your dog as well. The beast has just had a bath, we are about to collapse with the effort of it. Oh yes it's a glamorous life...as for the grass, another week.
DeleteAnd they are so cute when they are puppies!
ReplyDeleteDexter was not a cute puppy. Snappy. Happy. Ugly Duckling that grew into a damn fine swan indeed. Not cute. But now in the twilight zone he plays the blues, when he's not taking a nap.
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