SPEED OF LIGHT?

Twenty degrees? Twenty two? Twenty three? Twenty five this afternoon? Twenty. 3pm. sat in the sun outside the studio door glass of red wine. A mob of Long Tailed Tits making a racket in a plum tree. Don't want to work. 

Earlier a courier who bore an uncanny resemblance to Albert Einstein, he got it wrong at first, went next door, knocked at my door. David Hughes? Yup. Sign at the bottom. I scrawled an autograph across his mini screen. Unsealing the packet to find a magazine for which I was asked to contribute. 'Britain, Hometown of Picture Books'. South Korea - God Bless You. I know if I remember correctly that I said something along the lines of 'what do you expect, bloody Beatrix Potter...' in the interview. I like to think their designer has a keen sense of humour, even if they did manage to crop off/amputate the feet of I presume John Bull. What am I doing amongst this company? Kate Greenaway, Beatrix Potter, Charles Keeping, Shirley Hughes, Quentin Blake, John Burningham, Oliver Jeffers, Sara Fanelli, Harriet Russell, to name a few....surely some mistake. Brilliant. Genius. Cheers. Long live the dog! Buy it now, let's hope the translator has a keen sense of humour too. Can't trust no one least of all Albert Einstein.

4 0 4

Compulsion. This compulsion with the computer. Facebook. BLAH. Sketchbook. Cheap drawings. Waste of ink. Taste of drink. I woke up. It's Wednesday. 7:40AM. Bins? She said. Bins she repeated it's bin day today. Have they been? Have you put the bin out? It's Wednesday. I said.  No it's Thursday she said. She was right it was Thursday. Bin day. Grey bin day. I lost a day. Lost the argument.Do you really care. Fish pie tonight. But fish pie should be served on Friday. I am in a state. Football used to all kick off at 3pm on a Saturday.  

Putting On The Ritz

Just the usual Tuesday afternoon followed by a stroll across St. James's Park. The life of the illustrator.(retired). Bumped into Binky Chambers outside Lock & Co.hadn't clapped eyes on him in 30 years. Recession? Life's a riot isn't it darling. Nibs, oh yes the drawing implement of choice, personal preference of course is the Gillott 404. Don't leave home without it. Carry a supply just in case. Now where's the Hansom Cab?   

The Angel

Doodle. Not very good Doodle. 

Out of gas. Devoid of energy...... Who....tea at The Ritz tomorrow funny life Slow worm legless as a lizard a couple of days ago. Buzzard today. 

CRAZY GOLF

You should wear white socks with tailored shorts..................................................................I was invited to a round of golf in deepest leafy Surrey on Saturday. I haven't played a full round for at least three years. I managed not to make a complete idiot of myself I even parred two holes. My friend Ian partnered me. We were up against another team also Ian and David, which made life simple. Dave was a builder, Ian a chippie (carpenter) . Dave told us he had recently played a round of golf with a disabled player and was impressed by the man's ability to hit a golf ball. I remarked you should've asked what his handicap was.  But the comment flew over the heads of the alternative Ian and David, just like one of my wayward hacks. It was such an obvious comment to make I couldn't resist. Still my partner Ian laughed.

Another friend hit's sixty. God it's depressing. Celebration in a restaurant in Holland Park. I met up with Ronnie a former editor of Hello. I don't really know her that well but we meet up at intervals of I don't know of five maybe even ten years but I always enjoy seeing her. We first met in the offices of Options magazine in the early 80's I was working at Granada Television Studios in Manchester and she was suitably impressed that I knew several members of the cast of Coronation Street at the time. When I say knew it was more like I can remember exchanging small talk to Len Fairclough in the next urinal cubical one afternoon, I think he was later arrested at his local swimming baths............... chatting with Vera Duckworth in the bar while she fed the fruit machine that sort of thing......... Ronnie was a fan, so I think we hit it off. Somehow it seemed the perfect position for Ronnie when she was offered the editorship of Hello Magazine several years later. Not before she had worked in a funeral parlour for a number of years, interesting  CV. 

Sunday morning made a pilgrimage to Cookham to see Stanley Spencer and his war paintings of shipbuilding on The Clyde. Interesting small exhibition but I was disappointed with Cookham I expected to see resurrected souls clambering from the graveyard, spotty Dalmatians peeing up against lamposts fat naked torsos lingering behind upstairs net curtained windows. Instead mobs of daytrippers every other one talking into their mobiles.  And a head full with blank intervals of the previous night and serious self hatred.........I was going to inflict my memories of that day 10 years ago but really who cares what I think.

It isn't Vicious...

Photo: Jake Abrams.

Fish of Fukushima -Wish you were here..........

First postcard drawing: Did this lot fetch a decent price? Was it a bargain? Did the auctioneer give it a good hammering. Did he bang his gavel? Does the bidder keep tropical fish? This morning, weather a bit wet, a bit windy. Dog a bit damp. So you punch your victim's mobile number and if it goes to answerphone you punch 191 and you can hack them, you can listen to their messages? Simple is it really that simple or did I miss hear? I am deaf. That's how you retrieve your own messages......am I thick? He did mumble. It makes you concentrate. It's getting depressing more and more of my acquaintances, friends even are reaching the sixty year mark. Still that bodyboarder had both legs bitten off by a Great White that's worse.