Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Who The Fuck's That?

I'm tying my shoelaces. One foot to go. The telephone. The landline as it is known by these days -rarely rings now. If it does, it is usually someone telling me that my computer has a fault. Has it? The telephone rings. I swear under my breath. Why I don't swear out loud, I don't know I am alone I won't offend anybody. It is such a monumental effort to answer the telephone. "Hello." "Hello." the voice answers back. Pause. I don't know if you can help me. I got your name from the internet.......Do you do technical drawing? I answered, that No I didn't. Not to worry he said and hung up. He sounded crest fallen. The conversation was aborted before the first paragraph was delivered. I placed the receiver back on it's perch. I did worry. I completed tying up the right shoelace. Vans. Black and white to wear for work. Bit conservative. Bit M & S. Technical Drawing? But I do. Don't I? I measure things. I put numbers in. I sort of do perspective. I draw in line. I draw freehand. I use a ruler. A set square. I keep my pencil sharp. When I draw with a pencil. Today I am attempting to use a pen. How come the landline number is on the internet? Bloody Yellow Pages I bet. Listings . Technical Draughtsman see Local artist. Art shops. Greeting cards designer. Portraits. Caricatures. Your horse painted in oils. Be-Spoke Framing Service.
Out early. Sodden brown landscape. Extra green hedgerows. Two fields. Fifteen telegraph poles. Three hares. Two Skylarks jousting tumbling soaring falling deep in conflict. Deep in communication. Making a pretty racket. (I give up on exhausting more cliches). Blackbirds conflicting. Mud caking the soles of my boots. One wagtail. Wagging. There was a point to this but my head has turned to mush. Maybe it's just putting off the moment.I have work to do. Lets get technical.
The featured illustration has been excavated from the garage. From the Ark. A commission from The Partners Design group. 1986. An illustration in charcoal and pencil with a ruler to illustrate a page in a company report. It was the eighties. My youthful pretentious effort was just one among a bouquet of the talented and great illustrators of the day - I think I recall efforts from Gary Powell and Sue Huntley and Donna Muir and maybe Brian Grimwood.

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